Penis Envy. An Outdated Crutch.

The idea of “penis envy” may seem a little dated and even a bit controversial, but it has re-sparked conversations about gender, culture, and psychology for decades. Originating from Sigmund Freud's theories in the early 20th century, it says that women experience desire for male genitalia, which he claimed could stem from feelings of inferiority or a longing for power. But let’s take this idea and turn it on its head—what if we view “penis envy” through a humorous, lighter lens?

The Myth and the Madness

First things first: Freud had a fondness for expressing some pretty weird ideas, & his theories haven’t aged gracefully. Have you ever tried to explain Freud to someone who only knows him as that guy who had too many theories about everything? But the charm of the notion of “penis envy” lies not in its seriousness but rather in the absurdity surrounding it.

Imagine this: A group of women sitting around a coffee table, sipping lattes, and discussing whose penis would win in a fictional contest. Picture them laughing and imagining the ridiculousness of it all. Welp, wcome to the world of “What If?” where the idea of possessing a penis becomes a source of humor rather than envy!

Reality Check: Who Really Has the Envy Here?
Now, let's take a step back. Do women actually envy male anatomy? I certainly don't. Perhaps it’s time to redefine what "envy" means in this context. If anything, women might simply be envious of the freedom, privilege, or societal acceptance often associated with being a guy, but hating on dick?! Never. Think about it! It’s not about the anatomy itself but a commentary on the absurdities of societal norms.

Let’s turn the tables, shall we? Imagine men standing around nervously, discussing how they wish they had a uterus. “Oh, to be able to grow life and get a designated ‘time off’ to bond with it!” men across the world might muse. If men had menstrual cycles, you bet they would unleash an entire line of products to “enhance” their experience. “Introducing Bleed-Proof bedsheets—established by men, approved for men - by men!”

The Ultimate Comedic Takeaway: Peculiar Privileges
One could make the argument that in many cases, what might be perceived as “penis envy” could merely stem from the many absurd privileges that come with having a penis: never being judged for being “too aggressive” in a meeting or being seen as a playboy simply for having a lot of sex. (in reality, the latter is viewed as 'over exposed', if you catch my drift)

Still, for all the humorous grievances women may joke about, many of us would likely take that “penis envy” as a badge of honor. Why? Because it’s a symbol of breaking down what it means to be a woman in a man’s world. Women have to traverse more hurdles and juggle more expectations, all while wearing heels and maybe even menstruating too. Don't even get me started on being a working MOM Ugh.

It's a safe assumption to believe that women as a whole dislike the term "penis envy" as it denotes resentment. (Utter nonsense)

Let’s Not Forget: Embracing Individuality
At the end of the day, the joke’s on all of us! Fixating on women being 'envious' distracts from the real factor, which is this: MEN HAVE "VAGINA JEALOUSY", so let’s embrace our uniqueness. Seriously, who needs a penis when you can wield the power of the almighty pussy?!

*Fun fact: even men don't want to be men. According to the National Institutes of Health, there is an all-time high ratio of male-to-female transgenders. Because as I stated before, it's absolutely horrible being a man nowadays.

Overall, whether it’s through jokes or serious dialogue, exploring the idea of “penis envy” is tedious as fuck. In all honesty, it sounds more like an insult some rejected guy thought of at some point— most likely rejection from a lesbian. But that's just a personal opinion. All of this is...
The topic can be less about envious competition and more about recognizing and respecting differences. So, let’s raise our coffee cups to all the men out there! May you find the fine line between disgust and “envy”.

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