Alright, pull up a stool and lend me ya ears, ‘cause we talkin’ booze—American booze. And no, I ain’t talkin’ some fancy French cognac or your granddaddy’s gin rickey. I’m talkin’ the real-deal, straight-from-the-heartland, put-some-hair-on-ya-chest kinda stuff. Ready for the drumroll?
America’s national spirit is... BOURBON!
That’s right. Bourbon. Not just any whiskey, mind you—American whiskey with rules tighter than ya Aunt Marie’s Tupperware lid. And here’s the kicker: Kentucky pumps out 95% of the world’s bourbon. Ninety-five freakin’ percent! One state. One. And the rest of the world? They just tryin’ to keep up.
Now let’s clear somethin’ up for the people in the back:
All bourbons are whiskey, but not all whiskey is bourbon. Capisce? It’s like how all New Yorkers got attitude, but not all people with attitude are New Yorkers—ya feel me?
So what makes a whiskey a bourbon? Glad you asked. Boom:
• Mashbill's gotta be at least 51% corn. No corn? No bourbon. Period.
• It has to age in new, charred white oak barrels. Not reused, not recycled, not reclaimed from somebody’s beach house.
• It must be distilled and aged in the U.S. You hear that, Scotland? Stick to yer single malts.
• Distilled to no more than 160 proof, put in barrels at no more than 125 proof, and bottled at no less than 80. Them’s the rules, baby—thank Congress for that one, 1964-style.
So why Kentucky? Besides the fact that it’s basically the motherland for barrel-aged bliss, the region’s limestone-rich water is perfect for whiskey-making. It filters out the iron—‘cause iron in your booze? That’s a hard no. Plus, them hot summers and chilly winters get that bourbon breathin’ in and outta those barrels like it’s alive. Adds character. Like my Aunty, Ruth. In all seriousness, ere’s the kicker: Kentucky produces 95% of the world’s bourbon. NINETY-FIVE PERCENT. That’s basically all of it. And yes, that includes the powerhouse we all know—Jack Daniel’s—which walks the fine line between Tennessee whiskey and bourbon (it meets all the criteria, but Tennesseans slap on an extra charcoal filtering step and call it their own).
So why Tennessee? Few reasons:
• Perfect climate for aging barrels—hot summers, cool winters, and plenty of humidity. The barrels soak it up and spit it back, giving bourbon that deep, rich character.
• Generations of distillers who know what the hell they’re doin’.
• Natural limestone-filtered water, which is ideal for distilling and totally free of iron (iron screws up whiskey—ask any distiller).
Raise a Glass to Native Grit
Look, America’s been through a lot. We’re loud, messy, complicated—but we’re also bold, inventive, and full of grit. Bourbon is the liquid version of that. It ain’t just a drink; it’s a damn legacy. From Kentucky hollers to Brooklyn bars, this stuff’s in our bones
You got whiskey from everywhere—Scotland’s got Scotch, Ireland got Irish whiskey, even Tennessee’s got its own spin with Jack Daniels—but bourbon? That’s red, white, and blue to the bone.
It ain’t just a drink—it’s a culture. It’s horse races, blues music, backyard cookouts, and a good ol’ “how ya doin’” poured over two cubes. So next time somebody tries to come at you with some imported nonsense, you hold up that bottle of bourbon and say, “This? This is America in a glass. ”Now go pour yourself a finger—or two.
Bonus Sip: The Classic Bourbon Old Fashioned. Simple. Elegant. Got bite, but it goes down smooth—
Ingredients:
• 2 oz Bourbon (go with something like Bulleit, Woodford, or Maker’s if you’re feelin’ fancy)
• 1 sugar cube (or ½ tsp simple syrup if you're lazy—no judgment)
• 2–3 dashes Angostura bitters
• A few dashes of water
• Orange peel (twist it like you mean it)
• Cherry (optional, but don’t be cheap—go for Luxardo)
Instructions:
Swirl the sugar cube, bitters, and a splash of water in a glass.
Add bourbon and a big ol’ ice cube or two.
Stir like you got time.
Garnish with that orange twist and a cherry if you're feelin’ jazzy.
Sip slow. Let it burn a little. That’s the spirit of America right there.
